The Wardrobe Chronicles

I have decided that I really dislike packing.  Pre-committing and restricting my clothing choices to one suitcase for two weeks is really tricky.  For example: what the feck does one wear to best blend in amongst the Brooklyn hipster crowd at an event such as the Great Googamooga?  Yes, it is a real event, and indeed, Cam informs me just now that he has purchased our tickets.  Rad.

The closest I have come to actually packing, is to stand in front of the wardrobe, staring.  How do I decide whether they make the first cut, without trying each piece on?  And when a combination has been assembled, do I photograph?  Or enter said item and corresponding accessories into a database?  Surely there must exist some kind of universal outfit algorithm I can use, which reduces it down to a simple yes or no.

So instead, I will procrastinate, by compiling my list of the top three things that will be in my suitcase:

1.  Control undergarments

How could I set sail without my vast collection of lycra beauties?  80% of my wardrobe hinges on their sturdy construction.  And I’m not under any illusion that they actually make me look slimmer.  They simply iron out some of the bumpy bits that I would really rather be without.

I know there are women out there who regain their former taut midriffs six weeks post-birth (including one of my best friends), but I really do believe they are genetic freaks.  I’ve long since resigned myself to the fact that

a) I didn’t have an especially taut midriff to start with, and

b) The wobbly, poochy bits are here to stay, unless I become one of those odd women who decides to take up body-building and painting themselves brown, eating only broccoli and boiled chicken breasts at each meal.

2.  Cowboy boots

Love them.  They go with lots of things to make me feel a bit cool.

3.  Straightening iron

No explanation necessary.  Mad hair has no place in these chronicles.

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