2014 – The Year That Shocked the Pants Off Me

Okay, no doubt you’re thinking it’s a smidge late for a 2014 Year in Review type post. And I wholeheartedly agree.  I realise all the Serious Bloggers had this one mapped out by November and scheduled to go in time for festive season reading.

I also realise that Serious Bloggers write for their target audience.  They don’t jump wildly between travel, cake decorating, fashion, nutrition, parenting, and flowery reflections on life, as the mood takes them.  And they fo’ shiz don’t disappear for months, without tacking the virtual equivalent of a ‘We are experiencing life difficulties – back in 5 min’ sign on the door.

Oops. But then I never claimed to be a serious blogger.

And the beauty of that, is that I can disappear when I just don’t have anything interesting to say, or when it all goes pear-shaped, as life often does.  And if I’m getting all excited about my revolutionary new system of Lego organisation, then I’ll bloody well write about that next (stay tuned folks – it’ll change your life).

But it’s true.  Last year did shock the pants off me.  And I think it quite apt that my first post for 2015 is written sans pants, from the shelter of my doona cave. It’s quiet, warm, safe… and there’s a whippet at my feet.

And so, let’s cover the good bits first, shall we?

In Blogging News…

2014 was the year I cracked the shits with celebrity chef Pete Evans and his ridiculous brand of food-wankery (you can read the post here).  Fortunately, this turned out to be the best move of my blogging career to date, as far as stats and follows go.  But more importantly, it got me writing about what I know as a dietitian.

So I’d just like to say thanks to Pete for the inspiration.  Thanks for making my blood boil every time I heard your name, and for introducing my blog to search engines around the world.  It was great while it lasted, but I’m kind of over you now.  You see, positive body image and moderation are the new sexy, and Rick Kausman has recently ousted you as top dog on my stats page.  Not sorry.

rick ousts pete 2

In Crafting News

For much of 2014 I crafted my arse off in preparation for the school fete – making some dear new friends and earning a few new frown lines in the process.

In the name of Hartwell Handmade I did things with parachute cord that I never knew existed, and discovered a plethora of uses for an enigmatic substance called Modpodge. I literally developed furballs while handcrafting 400-odd pom poms and then stringing them onto garlands.  And in hindsight…  I learnt about the dark side of Pinterest, and the virtues of delegating, and Ryan Gosling craft memes.

gosling

In Pet News

2014 was the year we adopted Billie the whippet puppy.  We mopped up lots of wee, and watched her grow from a needle-toothed little teddy bear into a sleek, speedy supermodel of dogs.

Billie was very busy in 2014.  She dug up the lawn, tortured the children’s beloved soft toys, and created her own doggy door by clawing and chewing at the back door until… it just wasn’t really there any more.  You see, Billie has persistence.  And mad DIY skills.

billie one year

And in other news

I’m not quite sure how to say this.  But I’m just gonna rip that bandaid off.  2014 was the year my marriage ended.

To me it was sudden.  Nonsensical.  Flabbergasting even.

‘I just think we’ve grown apart’

WHAT THE?..

‘I have feelings for someone else’

BAM!

And there I was, suddenly contemplating life as a 41 year-old single mother of two. And wondering how on earth it happened to me.

Rest assured I won’t be delving into the details here.  Firstly because no-one wants to read a 50,000 word thesis on the subject of my marital issues.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.  And secondly because I might be tempted to use the term conscious uncoupling, and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t go with the type of expletives I’ve been using lately. I don’t think Gwenyth would approve.

So… What’s on for 2015 then?…

Ah!  Thank you – Great question!

Well, there will undoubtedly be a lot of refocusing, rebuilding and being strong this year (combined with a good measure of wine-drinking).  I’m also going to have to learn how to deal with scary spiders in the house, and inexplicable computer issues.  And my awesome friends and family will be there every step of the way.

Of course the two most important people in all of this are my beautiful kids.  I’ll be snuggling them tight, and trying not to miss them too desperately when they’re spending time with their dad (gulp).

Who knows?  Maybe I’ll throw myself into yoga, or meditation? Or swing dancing!  I already have the perfect wardrobe for the latter.  Or perhaps this year I’ll realise some deep, previously-untapped love for endurance sports or rock climbing. (No. That was a joke people).  What about a sweet (little) rockabilly-inspired tattoo? Why the hell not?

However it pans out, I’ll be sure to let you know along the way.  And I promise to think of a smashing topic that has nothing** to do with my marital issues, for the next instalment.

**well.. maybe just a little, if I’m keeping it real

This is me.  Being all positive and 'bring it', in front of a lime tree.

This is me. Being all positive and ‘bring it’, in front of a lime tree.

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26 thoughts on “2014 – The Year That Shocked the Pants Off Me

  1. HEHE! just jokes. There’s some kind of mite there.
    Hehe again. Oh dear.
    BRING IT ON MARNIE. Thems be fighting words. AND I HOPE my hopes aren’t too hopey, when I ask do these fighting words translate to more great DRESSING DOWN of the people who spurt fluff and dribble about activated arrrlll-mmmoonndddsss? Oh, do let it, please Marnie.
    PS. If you do indeed go nutzo, and get you one of them there rockabilly tatts, can you make it a single rose? And put it just above your right breast, with a matching opposite above your left shoulder blade? (You are always so beautiful… that may indeed plop you back in line with the rest of the world.)
    Second thoughts… Don’t do that. Avoid. Delete. Remove.
    A butterfly on your coxic. Best. Idea. Ever. (I’ve just had a le-bucket of wine, so I know.)

  2. I think you’re ace <3. Here's to a healing 2015 – may it be filled with loads of laughter surrounded by awesome family and friends (the best salve of all).

  3. Hey Marnie, Thanks for sharing. I can totally emphasize your situation.. my marriage ended in the last few months as well in what sounds like a very similar, sudden, unexpected he’s ‘in love with someone we met on holidays in peru’ shocking sort of way… Thinking of you and hoping that this year is a much better one for you.

    • Oh Golly Gemma! That’s just shit. And I know there’s not really anything anyone can say that helps. You’re amazing. Especially to keep blogging through it all. Love to catch up and swap stories one day. x

      • Ha yeah, my blogging has sort if taken a bit of a hit as a result but I’m determined to come back with a bang this year! I’ll be in Sydney in Sept, maybe we should organise a Dietitian bloggers meet up! 🙂

  4. It’s good to see you back in the blogging sphere Marnie! Hope to see much more of your cutting comments and commentary this year. Also, endurance sports are totally the way to go for dealing with all things in life – be like Forrest

  5. Thanks Tim. I don’t know if you’ll be catching me on the marathon circuit. But maybe on a new TV show I hear is coming out – Dancing With The Bloggers? You in?

  6. Marnie!
    Holy f$&*ing shizballs I’m only commenting here because I hear it’s good for blogger stats and such things. But really, what a goddamn suck hole crap thing to happen.
    Biggest hugs and squishes and much luurve to you. You are the rockingest random blogger ever xxxx

  7. Yep Susan. Yep! I so look forward to our ‘professional development’ session in BB. And I have to say that in inverted commas because I’m mostly just excited about being up there and meeting some fabulous chicks and having a good old rant together!! xoxoxo

    • Oh yes the “professional development” 😘 Can’t Wait.
      Blah blah mindfulness, blah blah self care, helloooo ladies!! Totally about meeting, in person, totes awesome chicks!! Yay for ranting xxx

  8. I’m crap at writing clever things. So here goes my super original comment:

    You are amazing!!!

    There. That was it. Rock the pants of off 2015!!!

  9. I really enjoy reading your posts and love you writing. Sorry to hear 2014 has been a hard year. As Tim says edurance sports do really help (me anyway) – but I am sure so do many things, what ever works for you. wishing you strength.

  10. Sorry to hear about your bad news!
    Keep pushing forward, and be sure to blog when you get the chance as you’ve got the ‘knack’ of writing good stuff! It’s great to read. 🙂
    Take care!

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